Facebook 12 Step Program

For the fellow addicts…

  1. We admitted we were powerless over Facebook—that the number of friends and stalkees in our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to pre-Facebook life.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our producitvity over to the care of Mark Zuckerberg as we understood Him.
  4. Tried MySpace. Something about “Unexpected error”s.
  5. Admitted to Zuckerberg, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact context of our inside joke “favorite quotes”.
  6. Were entirely ready to have Mark Zuckerberg remove the News Feed.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our News Feed.
  8. Made a list of all “questionable” photos we tagged, and apologized via Private Message.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, if we did not get a response from the PM we wrote on their wall.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we pointlessly changed our status promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through private message and poking to improve our “real life” contact with Zuckerberg as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of a scarier News Feed for us and the power to carry that out without another PR disaster.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other Facebook addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

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One Response to Facebook 12 Step Program

  1. Michael says:

    The 12 Steps Down To Hell
    I imagine 12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with this evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the power of Jesus Christ. He directed me to a therapist who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight. I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed their individuality & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda. I imagine Hell to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one never recovers’. I beg you people who are in 12 Step programs, to get out before it is too late.

    How does one recover when one is handing one’s power over to AA. The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible. I imagine he was an agent of Satan & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their anti – Christ propaganda.

    Step Three of AA is “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given. Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, “The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God.” He further explains:
    Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him. Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands. Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him.
    Aside from capitalizing the “H,” which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, “Him” could refer to any god of one’s own making [bedpan].

    Can you see what is happening to you? Ask Jesus to take control of your lives, read the Bible & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. Burn your Big Book or use it as toilet paper. Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, you never recover but with John 3:16 you are guaranteed Eternal Salvation. The “ball is in your court”
    Peace Be With You
    PS: I am a recovered alcoholic with over 22 years of sobriety.

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