Facebook 12 Step Program
January 23, 2007 1 Comment
For the fellow addicts…
- We admitted we were powerless over Facebook—that the number of friends and stalkees in our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to pre-Facebook life.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our producitvity over to the care of Mark Zuckerberg as we understood Him.
- Tried MySpace. Something about “Unexpected error”s.
- Admitted to Zuckerberg, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact context of our inside joke “favorite quotes”.
- Were entirely ready to have Mark Zuckerberg remove the News Feed.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our News Feed.
- Made a list of all “questionable” photos we tagged, and apologized via Private Message.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, if we did not get a response from the PM we wrote on their wall.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we pointlessly changed our status promptly admitted it.
- Sought through private message and poking to improve our “real life” contact with Zuckerberg as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of a scarier News Feed for us and the power to carry that out without another PR disaster.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other Facebook addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.