Finding NEMO – MYTHS DEBUNKED!
May 18, 2006 6 Comments
In the spirit of all of The DaVinci Code nonsense, I intend to debunk each and every myth in the critically acclaimed movie/book Finding Nemo. The parallels between the two books are overwhelming: they both appear in the fiction section of a bookstore!
Finding Nemo is poisoning America’s youth with false hopes and purports rather preposterous ideas that are threats to America’s moral fabric.
Warning: If you are rock solid in your aquatic idealism, this entry may be very disturbing. You have been warned.
MYTH #1: Fish can talk
Exhibit A: External Anatomy of a Fish
No vocal cords here. Let’s look to Exhibit B:
Again, no vocal cords. What were the hypocrites at PIXAR thinking?
MYTH #2: Fish can read
Later in the movie, Dory (who is apparently Ellen Degeneres(!!!)—I’ll address that later), reads! Outrage!
Look, here’s something! ‘ESSS-CA-PE’! I wonder what that means. It’s funny, it’s spelled just like the word ‘escape’.
No matter what the left tells you, FISH CANNOT READ. Do not fall into the trap that the liberal media is setting. Think for yourself!
MYTH #3: Fish have cognitive abilities
The most disturbing fact of them all: PIXAR actually used human beings to substitute for Fish speaking.
After nights of in-depth research, I came across an original record of how this movie was made. With Myth 1 and Myth 2 already debunked, I’ll attempt to answer the obvious question on America’s mind: If the fish could not talk, what exactly were we watching in Finding Nemo?
The cracked crew at PIXAR used something called Voice Acting. They hired several actors/actresses to portray fish speaking! It is unclear how all of this works, but the cast allegedly speaks into a device called a microphone and has their voices recorded. The recordings are then synchronized with videos of aquatic life (which were supposedly made by a computer system) to bring them all to life.
Don’t believe the liberal media’s hype: Every aspect of Finding Nemo never EVER happened.
Up next in my Myth Debunking series:
- Tupac Shakur Sighted at McDonald’s Parking Lot in Scranton, MO
- Jesus apparently was NOT Jewish!
- Deficit spending doesn’t really hurt us in the long term