hahahaha

[12:17:02] Jenny: i actually had a dream last night that he proposed to me, isnt that crazy
[12:17:42] Chris: no
[12:17:53] Chris: i have a dream about killing natalie with my bare hands all of the time
[12:17:58] Chris: and i mean, that happened yesterday for real
[12:18:04] Chris: so until he proposed for real
[12:18:07] Chris: it’s not too crazy
[12:18:15] Jenny: oh ok
[12:18:20] Jenny: well that makes me feel better then
[12:18:25] Jenny: so where did you hide her body
[12:18:39] Chris: woodchipper/can of cokes
[12:18:40] Chris: coke
[12:19:03] Chris: you would be amazed how easily you can fit an entire chopped up body into a can of coke

[12:19:05] Jenny: it all fit in there?
[12:19:06] Chris: we had a party later
[12:19:10] Jenny: wow
[12:19:11] Chris: some guy brought over
[12:19:14] Chris: some maker’s
[12:19:20] Chris: and wanted to use the coke
[12:19:24] Chris: but i just smiled
[12:19:26] Chris: warmly
[12:19:54] Chris: and said ‘oh pal, you can’t just use ANY old coke from ANY old refrigerator! you never know when there might be a dead body inside instead!’
[12:20:01] Chris: then i hit him on the shoulder chuckling
[12:20:04] Chris: and we had a hearty laugh
[12:20:20] Jenny: so he didnt take the coke?
[12:20:25] Jenny: er, natalie remains?
[12:20:33] Chris: no i ended up dumping them in the river
[12:20:46] Chris: a kid asked me why my coke was all red with bone chips
[12:20:50] Chris: i just told him it was very flat
[12:21:27] Chris: the fact is
[12:21:29] Jenny: good cover

[12:21:32] Chris: this isn’t the first time
[12:21:36] Chris: i have killed before
[12:21:47] Chris: before i was more daring
[12:21:47] Jenny: well i figured you had
[12:22:01] Chris: i would kill 6000 people at a time
[12:22:08] Chris: put them in the wood chipper
[12:22:13] Chris: put them in coke cans
[12:22:20] Chris: i bought a distribution truck
[12:22:30] Chris: and i would distribute the cokes to local groceries
[12:22:30] Jenny: people from around here?
[12:22:34] Chris: and make a profit
[12:22:35] Chris: yes and no
[12:22:39] Chris: from all over
[12:22:44] Jenny: how come we never heard about missing people

[12:23:01] Chris: after a while i started using sprite cans for variety
[12:23:05] Chris: you do hear about them
[12:23:11] Chris: you know those cards you get in the mail
[12:23:15] Chris: with the child who is missing
[12:23:26] Chris: and the person whom they were last seen with?
[12:23:33] Chris: well
[12:23:38] Chris: they are in a can of coke somewhere
[12:23:58] Jenny: so how do you actually put them in there? how do you seal the coke tab back on
[12:24:07] Chris: funny thing actually
[12:24:31] Chris: asa candler is my great great grandfather
[12:24:54] Chris: i just kind o inherited a coke factory from him
[12:25:01] Chris: what i do it

[12:25:06] Chris: i throw the bodies into the chipper
[12:25:12] Chris: the remains come out into a bucket
[12:25:26] Chris: i then place the content on a heat resistant plate
[12:25:32] Chris: and place the plate over an open flame
[12:25:46] Chris: until the matter condenses to burns and liquid
[12:25:51] Chris: i scrape off the burns
[12:26:11] Chris: then place the liquid remains into the coke vat
[12:26:19] Chris: and start the assembly mechanization
[12:26:22] Chris: wa la!
[12:26:26] Chris: you have dead body coke
[12:26:29] Chris: and i’m going to stop now
[12:26:32] Chris: because i’m making myself sick
[12:26:35] Chris: god
[12:26:36] Chris: GOD
[12:26:44] Chris: how did this happen???? this conversation?

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About andyhillky
I'm cool.

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