Repression

Those situations where imprints of teeth are left on the insides of your cheeks and lips are very familiar to this arrogant 21 year old male. Sometimes they’re triggered by my God-given ability to jump to incorrect conclusions without examining the entire situation. Another potential catalyst could be out of self-protection. The most likely incitement can be out of my desire to quelch my own overwhelming ignorance.

While I’ve never drawn blood ‘biting my tongue’, I think I get closer every day. This frustration has no release. I don’t have a release. While music is close, recently it has not delivered the soul cleansing feeling that my daily grind seems to require.

Of course, I wouldn’t be able to prognose myself as a mentally strapping young man if I didn’t have some sort of balance for those grin and bear it situations. Since I’m not jumping off the walls, that means I must have a release. But where? I think I found it today:

Bags of bags of bags are on these shelves. It’s scary how revealing this can be – how my freshman year of college I had a three or four bags left over from unpacking my belongings into a scary new dorm room. Now the number of bags is uncountable, just like the number of times I sit and swallow my pride under the guise that in the long run I’ll be fine. Every time I just ‘sit there and take it’ I’m adding another bag. Every time I sit through a seeping-with-banality lecture I’m adding another bag. Every time I fantasize about life without school – learning what I want to learn, when I want to learn I’m adding another bag. I may need new, bigger shelves soon.

Advertisements

About andyhillky
I'm cool.

3 Responses to Repression

  1. Jon says:

    You go to Wal-Mart far too often.

  2. Nichole says:

    Woo for metaphors.
    Woo for too many Wal-Mart bags.

    I had the entire backdoor completely blocked by WM bags at my old apartment. I left them when I moved, and am doing much better in my compulsive desire to SAVE EVERY BAG!!! There’s like 6 in my living room right now though….

  3. jules says:

    do the smiley faces on the bag have significance…?

%d bloggers like this: